Seagram's 7

I am sitting at my apartment. A small flask of Seagrams and some root beer in front of me. I've been drinking it and it makes me crazy how fast alcohol gets into my system. I have a cold. I got it from Utah. I just counted how many I's, Me's and My's that I've written since I've started and its mind boggling.  no way that it is 14. It is and thats funny in the worst way. Armageddon is on the t.v. Yes that movie that has Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck in it. no explanation other than there's nothing on and I just watched the season finale of Californication so who cares what's on anyway.  Have you ever thought about how many times that you say I or Me or My. I did once when I smoked a lot of weed and it drove me nuts. Armageddon is a really sad movie. Like when Bruce Willis stays and detonates the nuke and it shows the whole life flashing before his eyes thing and you hear Aerosmith playing... I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep cuz I miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thang... you know what I'm talking about. You know being a 14 year old girl and watching that movie ten years ago. Its really moving hahaha. kind of like when you watched the Mothman prophecies and you didn't want to look out the window because you might see red eyes looking back at you. but not really. I think I've always been a t.v person. movie and television.  Stories are the best. Yeah reading is a zillion( a million times an billion) times better, but tv is easier and thats dumb.

Last night I had a spend the night with a long time friend who lives out here too and we drank Seagrams til three in the morning and I didn't feel this buzz like I do right now. maybe its these butter mints that my sister gave me for christmas, but there is definitely a buzz going on here.

so lets talk about Utah.

This place that I grew up in.  This place that I was planning to leave the whole time that I lived there. And then It turns out... God I'm sick of writing right now. Oh well maybe next time. Enjoy this drunken post and enjoy it or else.... 

P.S. 35 times I Me or My was said. Give or take a few. And than number is going down next time IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII swear.  Oh wait Bruce willis is about to blow himself up. Not lying... best part of the whole movie.

Yeah Yeah I know that George Bush Jr is a crappy president and he's always saying stupid things...

"There's an old saying in Tennessee-- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee-- that says, fool me once, shame on-- shame on you. Fool me-- you can't get fooled again"

I mean always saying stupid things. But don't you think he'd make a funny Grandpa or something. Not a president for sure but I think I'd be happy if I had a cool Grandpa like that. He would probably get me drunk.

"Obama!" Bush exclaimed, according to Obama's account of the meeting in his second memoir. "Come here and meet Laura. Laura, you remember Obama. We saw him on TV during election night. Beautiful family. And that wife of yours -- that's one impressive lady."

The two men shook hands and then, according to Obama, Bush turned to an aide, "who squirted a big dollop of hand sanitizer in the president's hand."

Bush then offered some to Obama, who recalled: "Not wanting to seem unhygienic, I took a squirt."

top ten

1. Tomorrow I am turning 24 years old and I think my face is going to fall off.

2. A 24 year old taught me how to drive when I was 16... and she was old, I bet her face has already fallen off by now.

3. I'm getting ready to go to work and the sun is about to set.

4. I tried to work tomorrow but they told me that I should have my birthday off. I told them I want to start not remembering how old I am.

5. The funny thing is that I wrote my birthday on the calendar at work so who is the joke on now. 

6. What if I was really born on the 20th of July and I just wanted a day off or a present.

7. Does this mean I have to start doing something with my life?

8. And when does this mid life crisis start? I mean seriously.

9. I'm also going to Thanksgiving in Utah and my best friend is turning 21 the day before.

10. OLD FOGEY

The Future

All of today I was thinking about it, about the future. about my future. about everybody's future. Thinking about this damn blog also, I've got too many things going through my head that I know I should write down. But I just don't know how to put them into paragraphs. This memory of mine is quickly fading also, I think I will be one of the youngest people to have... see I cant even remember what its called. One of my friends told me a joke the other day, it goes

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have ADD

Hey look at that bike.

Oh yeah, its called Alzheimer's.  It like in my dreams last night... I remember finding a cool big apartment but the coolest room was in the middle of a building, like a college building with stairways around it so that everyone could see what you were doing in the room. Then there was an earthquake that was really crazy. then I was playing Guitar hero at my sisters house and this team of people came in that were against new video games and only liked old ones like Keen and Monkey Island, and at the end of all of that ruckus I was actually in a game battling a superboss. Like I was Mario or something. 

The moral of all this rambling is to show you about how hard it is to think about this damn thing called the future because my mind is going into loops of loops and when it comes to thinking about the future I already have too much on my mind.

This I know. I want to go back to school so I can take some classes and get something to focus on. I want to be able to hold a conversation with someone like I used to be able to... without getting drunk.  I want to have a hobby or something like that because I only can really stop thinking about everything when I'm watching t.v or reading. fuck. Whatever. I want world peace.

Why do girls wear perfume and makeup?

because their ugly and they smell bad.

thats my favorite.

Cabin Fever

Irritability, listlessness, and similar symptoms resulting from long confinement or isolation... etc. Blah blah blah.  I'm pretty sure that today I almost packed up my life savings and drove to San Francisco because of cabin fever. Lets add a haha right there to make it seem like I was joking and we are on our way.  Does it seem kind of stupid to anyone else that A person can feel so confined while they are perfectly able to walk out the door and find everything.  And yet... it seems like its even should I say... out of the question.  Its like you can't even take that first step because you haven't taken that first step.  As soon as you think about how tedious that first step seems, it just adds to the fever and it starts running rampant. Well the answer to my own rampant case of self inflicted cabin fever is goodbye. I'm outta here bitch.

How

                                                         From San diego, here I go